Support System

Many of you know that I have been going through a really rough time lately. I have suffered from depression most of my life. It gets worse after each baby.

After doing some research I believe I have a mild form of bipolar called hypomania. I have had manic episodes after Andrew was born. It was great for a while. I could function on a few hours of sleep, got a lot accomplished and felt like I could conquer the world. Then I began to have anxiety attacks and would black out. Not as much fun.

This time my depression was triggered by another baby, DH in school full time and owning a business. My manic episodes presented as irritability. NOT FUN! I have been short tempered and not a nice person. Everyone around me has suffered.

Thanks to some wonderful friends I attended a post-partum depression class, got an appointment for couples counseling, have an appointment for a medication review and have been able to make a start on discussing my marriage concerns.

So much has changed in the last few years. I am not the same person I was 10 years ago or even 5 years ago. I love my dearest husband with all my heart. I want our marriage to work. I know that we can conquer these changes and learn and grow. I love my kids and look forward to being a happier mom so I can enjoy being around them more. I especially LOVE working. It is so rewarding to work and succeed at something.

I am thankful for all my friends that have been there for me this last week. For a business partner who provides me chocolate and forgives me when I am being an idiot. For employees who see my need for time off and push me out of the store and take over my shift. For customer/friends who take me out to dinner so I can get out. For more employee/friends who jump in to work at the last minute so I can attend meetings. For others who offer me advice and a listening ear. I am grateful for each and every one of you. I would not have made it through this with out you.